The new year started really well.
Surrounded by loving and caring friends with who I didn’t feel I had to pretend to be someone else. I didn’t have to try to impress them. I didn’t feel I needed to be a genius to feel I belonged. I could just …be! And it felt great. I smiled and laughed more in 10 days than I ever did in the whole of 2016!
It almost feels stupid and embarrassing. Why would I ever put myself in that position? Well, I realized that …I just didn’t know any better. I wasn’t aware of my own feelings and desires.
And now, I know for sure, that I am lovable. People do love me for who I am.
2017 started with smiles and laughs.
Late nights waiting for the children to fall asleep and drinking ridiculous amounts of tea. Watching “Before Sunrise” and wondering if they met 6 months later. Wondering if true love really is what you see in the movies. To love or to be in love? How long do the butterflies in your stomach last for? a day, 6 months, 1 year? And if you don’t feel them anymore, does it mean it’s over?
Early mornings with lively and smiley children. Trying to prepare and have breakfast while changing nappies and thinking about what to cook for lunch. Food, food and more food. Happy people sitting around a table ready to indulge in whatever was cooked during the morning. Drinking. Talking about wine as if we were the greatest sommeliers in town.
Midnight snacks, wrapped up in blankets, planning trips to unknown places. And while talking, you fall asleep without noticing. Only to restart everything the next morning…
The truth is that… 10 days and 3Kg later… I feel happier than I have been in a long time.
Ti voglio bene.